Phd, Storyteller, Author, Intimacy Coach, Portland, OR
At the end of a couples intimacy or partner massage class I’m always amazed at how my body feels. I’m touched by what my students say in the closing circle, “I’m happy to be alive, I’m aware of being love, I feel peace through my whole body.” I notice how the faces have softened in just a few hours. Gratitude envelopes the circle of not-so-long-ago strangers, and we speak of soulful things in whispery tones. (more…)
I just returned from visiting my Uncle Bob who at age 85 has started dressing as a “Lady.” My Aunt Eleanor died about a year and a half ago and he says, “I’ve always lived as others expected of me. I only have a small time left, and now I want to be me.” He certainly makes a handsome older lady in a tasteful dress, wig, makeup, and jewelry. I noticed he had renewed energy and looked healthier since my last visit two years ago. I interviewed him with my video camera and even captured him and Mom, his 87 year old sister-in-law, playing cards like old times. (more…)
I brought my boyfriend to his first Cuddle Party. I was in training to be a Cuddle Party leader and the first evening of the training was an actual party for trainers and friends. Though I had attended a couple other cuddle-like experiences at different professional meetings (I’m an intimacy coach and sacred sexuality teacher), I had never brought someone I was dating to a Cuddle Party. (more…)
As an intimacy coach I run across men who want to involve their partner but don’t know how to introduce the idea. Or I run across women who want to come to a couple’s workshop, but think their boyfriend won’t. Face it; intimacy is scary, especially if it’s not your idea. We’re not sure what it means, what will be asked of us, if we’ll measure up, or if it means getting more of what already isn’t working (like more of the same sex).
Whew! Most of us are in the dark about what intimacy means. (more…)
The phone rang, it was my sexy California Lover. I imagined him saying, “Honey, I miss you. I want you here. Please, come to California and spend Thanksgiving with me?” And being generous, he would add, “I’ll take care of your plane ticket.” (Because it’s a man’s world when it comes to money.) And to complete my fantasy invitation (and jump his bones when I get there), he’d throw in a teaser, “And I have a surprise for you.”
But that’s not how my lover “invited” me over. He said, “Sounds like you don’t have any plans for Thanksgiving…You’d probably like to get out of Austin…I got invited over to dinner with friends…and I think they may want to meet you…” (more…)
Recently a friend in pain came to me for help. She was suffering from ending a love relationship. I got to thinking, every intimate relationship I’ve ever had (except the one I’m in now) has ended. Some with ease, most with trauma. Why are we so good at starting relationships–good at falling in love, yet so bad at endings? (more…)
On the eve of celebrating a birthday, one easily becomes introspective and even a little somber. Birthdays, especially the decade ones, are milestones to measure how we are moving away or towards our life’s purpose. (more…)
Want to feel younger, juicier, more spontaneous and sexy? Why not exercise your flirt muscle? Flirt because you can, it doesn’t hurt any one and will bring untold joy!
Flirting is attention without intention (or coercion) It’s a gift you give yourself and others. It will replenish your self esteem and fun-index. The more you give away, the more you get. Try sending out your special juice, your unique “take” on the moment, and your “spark” to whoever and wherever you are.
If you’d like to spend a great 30 minutes with your lover get out a timer and share this Kissing Game. Often just the man (less often the woman) leads the kissing show and things can get predictable. Here’s a way to trade off the lead in order to stir the pot for adventure. (more…)