As a couple, you experience how your relationship changes over time. Many shared life experiences have deepened, endeared and solidified your togetherness. Yet your close familiarity has also brought challenges. The sexy charge that first got you together also changes, and yet we have little knowledge or models about how to mature sexually.
Given the religious and cultural shame, isolation and silence around sex, it’s a challenged to grow in sexual self-awareness, expression and trust. Each partner(s) needs to be honest, transparent and conscious. As your intimacy coach, I help you take the next step in your erotic growth.
Most of us, male or female, consider ourselves to be ‘givers.’ We have learned to perform and take care of the other person during sex. Often we say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of fear of hurting or losing connection with our partner. We’ve grown accustom to ‘tolerating’ and ‘going along with’ things that may be close, but not exactly what we want. Often we give up on sex because we feel powerless to be authentic and express who we are.
Couples coaching is about empowering two people to authentically express their longings and curiosities to each other in clear requests, and then without judgment come to consensus as to how to act (or not) upon those requests. In sessions I offer short, structured exercises to help you research your desires–a big one! and if you’re not sure what you want, you’re not alone–and then practice asking for what you want, giving verbal feedback, and responding yes or no to your partner’s requests.
These simple, yet profound, activities will change your loving forever. You learn one directional touch—’for you’ or ‘for me,’ the difference between wanting and willing roles, offers and requests, OK and Fabulous! Ah, now you can relax and feel the pleasure! Both men and women say, “Everything slows down. I can feel more. I don’t have to guess or worry about getting it right.” You’ll leave excited and able to invite more quality touch into your life.
Couples coaching is right for you if:
- You know there is something deeper in sex, and are looking to find it
- You love and care for each other, but can’t quite find the key to loving your love life
- You’re a better giver than receiver; you feel vulnerable receiving
- Your pleasure comes from giving to others because it’s hard to access your own pleasure
- You want to feel more alive and spontaneous in your body!
Often one person in a couple is more ready for coaching than the other. This is natural. Read over Couples Coaching together. Committing to erotic growth will solidify your relationship and bring you tons of pleasure and a refreshed connection.
Testimonials from couples after sessions with Charla:
- “The stimulation was so profoundly relaxed, I was 10xs more comfortable than I thought I’d be. I felt wanted by my wife. And really, that’s new for me.”
- “After 41 years of marriage (this is our anniversary), I learned what I thought was slow, is not slow enough. I so glad I can learn new things here.”
- “Normally I wouldn’t feel each touch like that—it just wouldn’t be noticed. It was so different just ‘to receive.’ Charla validated the things my heart has always known to be true.”
- “Thanks for providing a safe space for us without expectation. We leave today feeling peaceful and connected…and with an ignited flame.”
- “You create a space where I don’t have to try, I can be quiet and still. I feel a calm in my body, not like a calm in my head, rather a calm in my soul. I came from within. It’s OK to be loved.”